A Mental Health Day

by maria bc.

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1.
01:20
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3.
02:22
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5.
02:10
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9.
04:47

about

<recorded in maria bc's basement>

credits

released January 1, 2016

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maria bc. Cincinnati, Ohio

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Track Name: Trailing Off
Trailing off
Train is tumbling down
Toward the crowd slow, I slow down

Trailing off
Gazing into sudden eclipse and
Static haze that molds this moment

Trailing off
See it coming closer now
Someone's got to run, and I don't know how

Trailing off
Rush to think of what to tell them
'Til the clatter takes my breath and
Track Name: A Mental Health Day
I'm losing my focus
Waiting all week for the weekend just to sleep and
Waste it on
Paralysis of the intellect
Faded back to nothing done, nothing new
"I see the pattern," she said

I'm losing my focus
Waiting all day for a phone call just to show I'm
Frozen by my
Incapacity to tell you what I mean
Pull me back to nothing done, nothing new
"I see the pattern," she said

I took a mental health day to
Recollect my bearings but I
Stared at the wall where deja vu spun me back to
Where I
Lost the sun and all direction
Drowned in a lightless misperception
Diversity of thought left in rejection
Back to bed a summertime

I'm losing my patience
Thinking all day about the same thing keeps me waiting
Feeling alone
Isolate me in memory worn to the bone
How you like to, nothing harmed, nothing new
"I see the pattern," she said

I took a mental health day to
Recollect my bearings but I
Stared at the wall where deja vu spun me back to
Where I
Lost the sun and all direction
Drowned in a lightless misperception
Diversity of thought left in rejection
Back to bed a summertime
Track Name: Millennials
I'm gonna build a house in your garage
Gonna build a town
With a real nice house
I wanna build a fort and live alone
Catch up on sleep
'Til it gets old

Just a midnight fire making flames
A millennial game, when they
Make desperate minds kinder we'll be tame
But no focus just like they say

I wanna be alone 'til I'm alone
Then it gets hard
To deal with myself
I wanna be well-known 'til I'm well-known
Then it's too hard
To see myself

Just electric fire faking flame
A millennial game, when they
Make desperate minds kinder we'll be tame
But no focus just like they say

I'm gonna take a friend, go for a walk
We'll go too far
Feet'll fall off
We wanna start parades in little corners
Rage against numbers
It's getting harder
We're gonna rage again within our borders
Like me, like you
Here in my room

Just electric fire faking flame
The millennial game, when they
Make desperate minds kinder we'll behave
But no focus just like they say

What a broken tired mess we've made
It's starting to show once they
Label the dynamics it's too late
There's another change on the way
Track Name: The Whale Watch
I am waiting here for years
I am lazy at the waterside
Sun has flushed the sky white
The light will never disappear
I am tired on the shoreline
Find it hard to break my stare
The water sways, the vapor glares
I feel bored, I feel wise

There are curtains in the tide
Sun is breaking through the sides
I see you looking for a father
You are wandering your mind

Fish are carried onto shore
They were poisoned on their way somewhere
Salt suspended in the air
I can feel it in my pores

There are curtains in the tide
Sun is breaking through the sides
I see you looking for a father
You are wandering your mind

I am small with languid power
I am wandering your mind
Through the etherizing surface
You are haunting, you are wide
Track Name: Voyager I
Families close at hand, building thatch-roofed homes
Or licking ice cream cones
Tick, tick away ribbons of rushing headlights
The woods alone at night

That's life, I can't complain
Just carving out my place
Wonder what they'll find
Deep in outer space
Will they tell 'em our names

Mountains and lakes, buildings and airplanes
My field of sight can't change
Calm, calm it down, the constant rushing sound
That signals our location

It's all good, I can't complain
Just carving out my place
Wonder what they'll find
Deep in outer space
Will they tell 'em our names
Track Name: [alien abduction]
Drawn to the curtain
Drawn to the hillside
Drawn to the river, the wine-colored glow

Drawn to the front door
Out on the highway
Down to the valley in orangish gloam

Space is contracting
In dreams pulling backwards
In rivers of freedom
The animal remains
You float through your birthday
You see it in your face
The future interplays
With those you will replace

Drawn to the curtain
Drawn to the hillside
Drawn to the river, the wine-colored glow

Drawn to the front door
Out on the highway
Down to the valley in orangish gloam

Time is compressing
In dreams pulling backwards
In races of conquest
Stability remains
You float through your birthday
You see it in your face
The future interplays
With those you will replace
Track Name: In the Parlor
Silent snow
Gown and all
Slow turns, so civilized
Ivory pearls and plated gold

Worn out land
Winds too harsh
To hunt her elk and fowl
With empty hands
He still makes his rounds

What's that you say
Yes, yesterday
I loved you then
I love today
I love you today

The crying man
Then blinking eyes
Break their exercise
The violins and china fall

Distant smoke
Finds their sky
Racing to catalyze
A happy end, a steeper slope

What's that you say
Yes, yesterday
I loved you then
I love today
I love you today
Track Name: In the Purlieus
Count one, two to be my familiar
Steal from the clay that you fell into
I swear I won't be angry when you find your own will
You can recreate me if you lose me like you do

Like a kid coming back from the cleaned up strip
To moldy bathtubs and brown water sinks
You're looking good now, got a smile on, superstar
You say, "I'm making progress but not getting far"

All the night losing sleep from the noises in the house
Dirty dishes and piles and piles of yellow laundry
You're looking good now, put a smile on, doing fine—
I can be yours without you being mine

Have you found a new order
Have you found a new sound
Have you sorted the colors in the great chaotic cloud
Have you found a new order
Have you found a new sound
Have you sorted the colors of the threads that hang around

Count two, three when you're lonely
Close your eyes and spill your memory
Who showed you Jacob's fall, all the ladders shaking
Birds of flight and airplanes breaking

TV on glowing blue too nice to turn off
Tossing and turning, the sheets fall off
You're looking good now, got a smile on, superstar
You say, "I'm making progress but not getting far"

Hustle back to the humor, to the simpler things
Counting roadsigns until the upswing
You're looking good now, put a smile on, doing fine—
I can be yours without you being mine
Track Name: Navigate
Oh, summer day
I am here for now
Halo me in brass and twig
Make me a makeshift crown

I am a wannabe
I am a plastic doll
I'm a fast-food marquee
I can feel like nothing at all
Come make a fool of me
I am a fool when I fall
You give me company
I can sing for you, on and on and on

Oh, winter night
I am here for now
Make the streetlamps burst
Teach me to hear new sounds

I am a wannabe
I am a plastic doll
I'm a fast-food marquee
I can feel like nothing at all
Come make a fool of me
I am a fool when I fall
You give me company
I can sing for you, on and on and on

I am a pop-up ad
I am a washed-up star
I am a passing fad
I can feel like the world's gone too far without me
But I feel a surging line
I feel your nerves pulse through mine
I am a guessing game
We will navigate, on and on and on